Trouble with the Language
by Smackalicious
Summary: McGee, Ziva and Scrabble. Things are bound to get misunderstood. McGiva. Oneshot. Just kinda silly.


**Title: Trouble with the Language  
****Rating: PG-13  
****Category: Humor, Romance  
Genre: Het  
Pairing: McGee/Ziva  
Warnings: None  
****Summary: McGee, Ziva and Scrabble. Things are bound to be misunderstood.  
Spoilers: None  
Author's Note: Originally came about in response to a comment I made on NFA about a screencap from Tribes involving a certain coffee mug. Not spoilery at all, trust me.**

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**"Double word score." 

"What? Where?"

"Pink square, Ziva. I know you've played Scrabble before."

Ziva fixed her opponent with a look. "Perhaps I have, McGee, but I never claimed to be good at it."

McGee smirked in triumph. "Bad for you, Ziva, but _very_ good for me." He scribbled his score onto a sheet of paper.

Ziva tipped her head at him, curious. "You know, I really should be excellent at this game, in theory." She moved a few of her tiles to the board. "Triple letter score."

McGee frowned, updating her score. "Why's that?" His frown grew deeper as he stared at the letters in front of him.

"Because I know seven languages."

He looked up at her. "Being multi-lingual doesn't really work when playing Scrabble, Ziva." He shuffled some tiles to form "sexual" on the board, blushing as he did so.

Ziva looked from her own tiles to his newly formed word and chuckled. "Ah, I see where your mind is, McGee. Taking lessons from Tony, are we?" She added an "ity" to his word and smirked.

He shook his head and set down his pencil. "I'm not . . . My mind . . . I was just trying to get a higher score, Ziva." He groaned, closing his eyes in disbelief, as Ziva snickered at his choice of words. "You _know_ I didn't mean it that way, Ziva."

She gave him an innocent look. "What way, McGee?"

His blush returned. "That I would . . . wanted to, uh . . ."

She reached across the table and brushed her hand across his, causing him to look up at her. "You wanted to play fair, yes?"

He frowned. "Uh, I don't know that I'd call it that . . ."

Her fingers lingered on his for a moment before returning to her tiles. "It is a very admirable trait, McGee. I am glad you look at me the same way you look at Tony."

Any trace of color drained from McGee's face. "You _what_?"

She gave him a genuine smile. "If it were Tony sitting here instead of me, you would still be attempting to score, yes?"

McGee simply stared, too stunned for words.

Ziva's voice brought him back to life. "McGee? I am just asking if you think of Tony and me in the same way."

"I-I," McGee started, finding his voice, "I don't know. I-I suppose not . . ."

"Ah," Ziva interjected, "then you are being rougher with me than with Tony?"

He frowned again. "I've never . . . with Tony, Ziva . . ."

She let out another chuckle. "But you would like to, yes? See what he is made of, if he lives up to all his claims?"

McGee closed his eyes, his blush returning. "I can't believe you're asking me this, Ziva . . ."

Her hand returned to his, her tone conciliatory. "McGee, it is just a game. I do not understand why you are getting so upset . . ."

McGee suddenly bounded from his seat, knocking over his selection of tiles and scattering them to the floor. "I'm upset because this isn't 'just a game,' Ziva! I respect you too much for that. I respect _Tony_ too much - and not even in that way!" Ziva gave a frown of confusion. He sobered and looked down at her, letting out a sigh. "My sex life is not a game, Ziva."

Ziva gave him an incredulous look, then let out a loud laugh, causing McGee to raise an eyebrow in wonder. She waved off his expression, asking, "Did you really think I was talking about sex this entire time?"

McGee blushed faintly as he answered. "I, uh . . . yeah. You _weren't_ talking about sex?"

She continued to giggle. "Now, why would I be talking about Tony when referring to your sex life?" She gasped in possible realization. "Unless . . ."

"No!" McGee quickly responded, wanting to dispel _that_ line of thought once and for all. "But if you weren't talking about sex, what were all those questions about 'attempting to score' referring to?"

She gave him a gentle slap on the cheek, holding up a tile. "Triple word score?"

McGee closed his eyes in disbelief. "I? Am so dumb." He opened his eyes again to gauge Ziva's reaction. "I suppose you're going to tell Tony all about this, aren't you?"

She shrugged. "Perhaps." McGee let out a groan. "But only after we finish up here."

McGee sighed. "I think you've proven you know how to play Scrabble, Ziva. Hell, you're beating me by almost 100 points . . ."

He trailed off as Ziva stood and swaggered over to him, placing her hands on his forearms. "I didn't mean Scrabble, McGee."

He gave her a look of curiosity. "Then . . . You mean . . ."

She nodded, trailing her hands up and down his arms. "What can I say? All this talk about sex has made me want to . . ."

"Play games?" McGee finished for her, not quite believing what was happening.

Ziva nodded. "Precisely. And I happen to be looking to improve my own score." She gave him a seductive smile.

In his mind, Tim McGee profusely thanked the Scrabble gods.

**THE END!!!**


End file.
